I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize