i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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