am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
