Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
