Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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