Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
