He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
