Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
