I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize