We're like a lot better than the average bears
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize