are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize