At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
