I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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