ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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