And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So squirting runs in the family.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize