This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
