she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
