I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
