I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
