"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We left an ass print on the piano.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
