it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
