My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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