so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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