yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
