Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
