woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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