Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Randomize
