Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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