Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
