jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
