The maid of honor just puked.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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