well most of my day revolves around power hour
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
