Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize