i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
