What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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