I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize