can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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