he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
