You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
