i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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