Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
soo... how was my night?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize