Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
