I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
