Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
