Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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