I am puke
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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