I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
