I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
