i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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