The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
