i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
