You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
