I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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