I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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