I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
