every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
