his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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