wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
