meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
