I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize