This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
