You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
