I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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