omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
